I’ve come to Blackpool with the uni girls for the weekend. These girls are literally SO good for my soul I can’t even tell you. We’ve always wanted to bring George here and show her the tack of Blackpool because she has nothing like this at home in Jersey – we needed to show her that not all beaches are gorgeous – some of them have grey sea! And donkey poo! We needed to get her in an arcade spending all her 2ps, eating fish and chips, watching the illuminations, eating sugar donuts and hiding from the huge seagulls. It was essential we showed her this part of the UK! Are we even her friends if we don’t experience this with her?! I think not! We only just introduced her to the Greggs sausage roll a few trips ago – so logically this was next! 

And it has been so bloody lovely. We always struggle to get annual leave at the same with all being midwives! So some of us did one night, some of us two nights and obviously I’ve stayed the whole time because aside from hospital appointments, I have no commitments anymore! 

We had a massive takeaway on the first night. Then we have been down the pier, had fish and chips, donuts, seen the illuminations, played board games and just wandered around seeing the delights of Blackpool and spending time together ❤️. It’s been really nice and allowed me to forget about my life for a few days and be a bit normal! But then I’ve woken up this morning and I feel SICK (hence the mid trip blog to clear my mind). The reality of having to go home tomorrow and face my life again is scary. I won’t be in holiday mode anymore and I’ll have to go back to the life of hospital appointments and brain tumours again and I don’t want to! But Oll is away working, so Willow and Chester are coming to join me today in Blackpool for some half term fun – so I need to perk up. A quick brew and cry in the garden on FaceTime to Oll sorted me out a bit. He reminded me to try and stay positive and that I don’t deserve this but we need to just ride this wave – even though it does ‘feel like we’re in a dingy in the middle of a tsunami’ sometimes. It really does. He describes it quite well 😂 As soon as the babies are here I’ll be fine – they will distract me and make sure I’ve got no time to be sad 😂 

So ive started my wean onto some different antiseizure medication. Although the full wean takes ten weeks, it feels good to have started at least! And I’ve been off the nasty steroids for almost two weeks now which is also nice – although my face is still as round as a chipmunks cheeks and my chest, back and face remain to be one big spot! How long does this stuff take to get out of your system?! 

So Madame Tussaud’s is today’s plan and then sea life tomorrow with the babes. Then I’ll return home with my big girl pants on and continue this journey of kicking Nev up the butt. I’m just awaiting appointments in the post at the minute. For a CT, MRI, to have my RT mask made and to sign consent forms for treatment at the Christie. Then I’ll hopefully be able to get a date for when treatment will start and be able to plan my life a bit more. 

Halloween was lovely! I’ve thought about it a lot both pre and post surgery and hoped I’d be able to take them trick or treating as we usually do. But I just didn’t know where I’d be at recovery wise or if I’d be strong enough. But we managed it really well – we walked all the way up our road, round the houses at the top and back down our road the other side with our friends from school which is our tradition. So that felt really nice. Just doing those normal things is what I want to get back to! 

Hopefully there will be more of that to come in the next few months or at least once treatment finishes! 

For now, I need my positive pants on and to tell myself that even once I’m out of holiday mode and back home – I will continue to walk this path and be okay. As I always have been. 💪🏼🦸🏻‍♀️

Lots of love from Jen and Nev 🧠👁️⚡️