I feel like I’ve not got all that much to say this time. But still, I feel compelled to write, so here I am. And I’m sure I’ll blabber on for a while anyway 😂

I’ve had a huge shift in the way I feel at the end of last week and so far it’s sticking! I really hope my positivity is here to stay now – I will do my very best to make sure it does and trust in this process. Sometimes it’s really hard to see why this would be happening, why this would happen to anyone?! But this process has already taught me so much and given me so many gifts that I’m actually GRATEFUL for this journey. Does that sound MENTAL? Yes it does. I know it does. 

But stick with me here… it has already taught me what is important in life, is helping me find myself and has opened up a spiritual journey for me which I am loving SO much. I’m still very much learning on my spiritual journey but the way it makes me feel, i just know it’s right. And it gives me so much strength, hope and belief that I can continue kicking Nev up the butt. So I’m leaning into it. I’ve been meditating everyday since I’ve been feeling more positive – and I’m definitely getting better at it! When I find some time to myself that is 😂. Which isn’t exactly often but I am managing to find little pockets of time. Although right now is not a good example of that – I sit here on the sofa trying to write this blog whilst Chester sprints in VERY concerned that we only have ONE kiwi left in the fruit bowl 🥝. What a disaster 😂 wouldn’t it be nice if that was your biggest concern 😂.

It’s also made me realise that I want to write a book! That might sound a bit wild. But I love to write – I always have. And it will help me continue to raise awareness of the importance of regular eye tests and brain tumours in general in young people, but also the meaning of life and what you can learn through facing adversity. Because it doesn’t have to be the end of your life, it can be the beginning of a new one! It feels strange to say that, because I don’t ALWAYS feel that way when I’m down in the dumps and it’s really hard to explain. But I have time to get it down in words now that I’m not working! And why shouldn’t I write a book?! I managed my way through a degree with a first class honours, writing multiple essays and a dissertation with a brain tumour, so I can totally do this! 

I took the babies to see Elf in Manchester this week too which was AMAZING. It’s so nice to share my love of the theatre with them and see them enjoying it too. I was also pretty proud of myself because I managed a full, busy day out without feeling like crap which hasn’t been possible over the last month. But those times are coming back now, and that feels awesome 🤩 

I’ve been prepping for my radiotherapy which I start in just over a week. I have a playlist ready to go (if they let me use it). And I’m figuring out what I’m going to do during the treatment to stay calm whilst my brain is being blasted with radiation and my head is strapped to the bed 🙃. But I’ll be done by mid January and then I take a four week treatment break before starting chemo. When I start chemo, I plan on going back to work which is exciting! We will have to see how I feel and what work say, BUT my oncologist has said most people my age return to work at this point. Although she did say, don’t go crazy with busy 12 hour shifts 😂😂😂 does she know what my occupation is?! HAHA. 

Here’s to a lovely, chilled, positive weekend. I hope you guys have one too! Mine is filled with dog walks, tea at my parents and meeting up with another person with a brain tumour to chat all thing brain tumours 😂🧠

Lots of love, Jen and Nev 🧠👁️⚡️