Today, me and Oll had my last appointment at the Christie in Manchester (for a while). That feels good. I will be transferred over to the Macclesfield Christie now for my treatment which starts a week today! We went in to sign consent for the treatment today and they went through potential side effects and showed us what is left of Nev on the latest MRI so that I could get an idea of where they will be blasting! Because of his location, they do have to blast through healthy parts of the brain too, so that comes with some risks. But nothing I can’t handle after the last two months!!!! Bring it on I say. 

I’ve bought a radiotherapy countdown poster so that I can tick off each day and plan to very much just take all of this day by day. Six and a half weeks seems too long to handle, so breaking it down into smaller chunks makes me feel better. It’ll be over before I know it I’m sure. I’m sure it will be a RIDE, but I’ve made it this far and don’t plan on giving up now! 

I also went into work today for LOADS of hugs off the girls and to plan my return once I’ve finished radio. The plan is to go back at the beginning of February as I start chemo. So this feels AMAZING. Work will bring back so much normality and purpose for me which I’m lacking so much right now. It will take my mind off all of this too, so I’m really looking forward to it (I’m sure I’ll be moaning about it in no time). It was gorgeous to be back on the ward and see a few of the midwives after so long. I can’t wait to be back with you all making tea, toast and delivering babies again ❤️

I have a little story to share at the end of this one… to keep things interesting 😂. A colleague of mine (now one of my managers) looked after me in labour 7 years ago with Willow and brought her into the world. Then 3 years ago she looked after me again when I was pregnant with Chester and under the homebirth team. I didn’t end up getting the homebirth I wanted, but for the special part she played in my pregnancies, on our last postnatal visit together, I gifted her an Orchid. She’s always joked about how rubbish she is at keeping plants alive, but that this Orchid had flourished in her bathroom ever since! Three years is pretty good going I’d say! Then recently, out of the blue, it began to die, so she cut back the leaves and gave it some love and nourishment. Soon, it started growing buds and coming to life again. She shared this story with me a few weeks ago and said it reminded her of me and how sometimes we need to go through tough times so that we can bloom twice as bright. And I LOVE that. I saw her today at work and she said she’d got something to tell me. ‘DONT TELL ME THAT ORCHID IS DEAD’ I said to her 😂. No, no it continues to flourish, with lots of new buds and flowers ❤️ 

I love that little story so much. It really resembles the journey that Nev has taken me on and gives me so much peace that I too will continue to flourish and grow – and that with a little bit of inner work (and treatment) I will bloom even more so than I did before. Who knew that little Orchid would teach us that lesson when I picked it up from M&S 3 and a half years ago 😂❤️

Lots of love, Jen and Nev 🧠👁️⚡️