Up at five and I can’t even blame the babies, so blog time it is! 

This week has been a good one, my body feels so much stronger now, that I’ve even been able to get it off the sofa and out the house for some exercise! I’ve never exactly been a big gym goer or exercise fanatic, but running around at work and after the babies has always kept me on my toes. I desperately need something to focus on at the minute. So I’ve been on a couple of jogs this week and even been back to the gym! I’ve been so bored at home, there’s only so much Netflix you can watch isn’t there before it turns you insane. (Just laughing at myself saying I’m bored, when if the kids EVER say they’re bored, I get cross 😂 Again, practice what you preach mummy 🙄). I’ve really enjoyed getting out and moving! And I’m proud that I’ve done it, especially considering this weather! It’s nice to put your headphones on, and take yourself away from everything for a little bit on a run. The gym is a bit different though considering I went with my friend who turned into some sort of strict personal trainer and tried to KILL me once I was done with my couch to 5K on the treadmill 😂. I HAVE GOT A BRAIN TUMOUR YOU KNOW, ANGE! (She must have forgotten, because I don’t go on about it enough and decided she’d put me through my paces). 

After the gym, I got the babies from school and put them straight in their PJ’s – much to their dismay. And off to their nanny’s they went! Daddy has swanned off to Germany, but mummy was going out! A very very special lady has left work, so she won’t be there when I return and so I just had to go and say goodbye as a few of us met up in Congleton for some drinks and food. I’m so glad I went, I LOVE YOU NIC! We will all miss you so much, I hope you know how appreciated you are by all of us midwives for literally just being the BEST everyday. She’s great, she sorts out community midwifery, so gives us all our work in the morning – which clinics and visits we’re doing etc. Which is a mammoth task by the way. But over the years, you figure out that basically Nic is some sort of magic human that can do and sort out ANYTHING. So she often gets a call from a frantic midwife throughout the day when we have some sort of problem out in community. We were laughing last night that she got a call the other day when one particular midwife ran out of petrol 😂 Not sure how she was supposed to sort that one out from her desk on the maternity ward. But you just HAVE to tell Nic, that’s just the way it goes around there 🤣. You will be missed so much Nic, I’ll be over to bother you in your new department after my radio appointments really soon. Thank you for everything over the years – especially for being there for me so much when I was first diagnosed with Nev. (I mean, this super hero even came down to A&E to make sure I was okay and sit with me when I was alone until Oll got there). I hope I’ve always told you and that you’ve felt how much I appreciate you throughout the years we’ve worked together. I try to make sure I do that! You’ve seen me go from a first year student to a qualified midwife over the last 8 years and all the wobbles in between. We often joked about putting our positive knickers on when we were losing our minds about the ward being BOUNCING. Well my positive knickers remain on forever now in your honour as I go through radio and chemo and beat Nev ( I’ll put on clean pairs though I promise). LOVE YOU NIC ❤️. 

The next hurdle for me and Nev will be radiotherapy which starts in a couple of days. (More of a hurdle for Nev than me to be honest, although we’re both blasted with radiation for the occasion). This will control his growth. Everyone keeps asking if I feel ready for radio, or how I feel about it. To be totally honest, I feel fine about it! I lay on a little table for ten mins with my superhero mask on, listen to my music and then it’s done! It’s pain free and it’s another step towards no Nev, so that’s a win for me! The only downside is going there five days a week as I HATE an appointment to remind me I’ve got a brain tumour. But I’m going to intertwine it with going to see the girls on the ward for a brew after some of my sessions and distracting them. So that’s will be nice. It’s weird because I say I feel fine about it – and I do. But then I’m back in the mode of not being able to sleep or eat. So something is going on! I eat maybe one meal a day at the minute and I’m STUFFED. I couldn’t even finish my food when we went out with the midwives last night and I never do that! And all night I just toss and turn – talk about restless legs, I’ve got restless body! I’m trying with the eating, and Oll is trying to shove food down me at any given opportunity too 😂. I will need to be well nourished to keep my body strong for my treatment, I know that. That’s part of the reason I’ve started back with running and the gym too – it will keep my body strong and in a good place ready for what it will go through over the next 9 months of radio and chemo. 

And I’ve started the book everyone! Thank you for your help with the title on my poll. I’ve gone with the most voted one so far. It may change as I write the book and get deeper into it, but for now I’ve gone with that one. And thank you also for all the encouragement to actually do this. I never thought it would be something I’d do in my life, but you’ve made me think WHY THE HELL NOT?! what am I going to lose? Nothing. What could I gain? Everything! So the trusty works laptop is out and doing its thing once more. And I’ll let you know how it’s coming along. It’s likely going to take me a year to write because I’m far from the end of the journey yet and I feel like I need to have finished my treatment and see what happens there and how I cope with that to include that in the book. But I will finish it next year and then annoy you all by asking you to buy it 😂. I’m enjoying writing it too – the words are just flowing out of me at the moment which is good. I’m sure I’ll become stuck with some bits and that it won’t continue being this easy but nothing worth having is ever easy right?! Like my life at the moment 🙃 Just let me live Nev, okay?! 

This weekend we’ve got some nice stuff planned before my weeks are taken up with radio. A walk with friends, a birthday party, Paddington bear at the cinema and then finishing the weekend off with my favourite ever thing to do – womens circle ❤️.  I’m still not over it by the way. It’s magic in every way and I think everyone should try it. My daily meditations at home are definitely keeping me sane too – I can tell I’m getting better at it now. Willow has even asked to do it with me twice 🥹 which is super cute and it has sent her to sleep both times so WINNER. It’s also helped when she struggling to behave or having a tough day, we don’t do a full meditation when she’s in the middle of kicking and screaming. But just a couple of deep breaths brings her back down to earth and helps her calm down. And it makes so much sense. It has that effect on me too! Chester won’t do it, but he loves coming up to me and telling me that Willow is being naughty and that she needs to take some deep breaths 😂 

Enjoy your weekend whatever you’re doing (hopefully you’re going for an eye test) 😂❤️

Lots of love from Jen and Nev 🧠👁️⚡️